Absent Big Thinkers, We Are Stuck with a Pack of Political Gophers

Where are the big thinkers? The people with vision, vision more than a week out. Vision that took us to the moon, built the Hoover Dam, the Empire State Building, the Panama Canal, helped rebuild Japan and Europe after World War Two and thousands of other creative, grand, inventive and often inspiring “visions.”

Now, instead of thinking big, taking a long-term view of our world and trying to develop ways of moving us down a positive road that benefits all of us, makes our country embrace its greatness and all its people, our politicians continue to dive into their little gopher holes and squeak at each other and at us with no thought about anything but that hole and its narrow tunnel connection to other little gopher-filled holes along the way.

Rise up, gophers, there’s a big world out there.

But in an era when even the slightest so-called misstep can anger the base of each party, politicians avoid being bold because being bold doesn’t get them into the general election. At least that’s the way it seems . . . and nobody has enough money to run without that base support.

Imagine, if you will (you may have to close your eyes and really concentrate), a politician standing up and saying, “I’m a moderate. And I believe in America, the diversity of its people and the bright future we have ahead of us. Now we all need to work to turn this ship around and set course that will make us even greater than we are.”

Yeah, then you woke up, right?

Instead we listen to our politicians push an agenda of throwing 12 million illegal immigrants out of the country (how exactly will we do that), continued attacks on women’s health issues (largely by men who can’t imagine their daughters going to Planned Parenthood for a pap test), complete gridlock on the budget, tax reform, healthcare costs or feeding children. These are all big issues, but alas, our small-thinking politicians can’t embrace any real solutions.

Don’t you want to hear real solutions to real problems . . . how are we going to get a few million people back into the workforce? How are we going to stop government from overspending? How are we going to cut the deficit? How are we going to change the healthcare system so it works for effectively for everyone? How are we going to wind down governmental handouts to farms and other businesses? How do we alter Medicare and Social Security so they work now and are viable in the future? How do we grow American businesses and jobs?

That enough for now? If a congressman was reading this he probably passed out half way through. Hey, they get rid of a lot of governments overseas if they don’t work. And with an approval rating under 10 percent, I’m guessing a lot of people here would just as soon throw these bums out and try another bunch. (That’s part of a good case for limited terms for these folks.)

I’ve said it before . . . if these people worked in the private sector, they’d all be fired. They have proved, time and time again, that they are (those both the Senate and the House) unable to do their jobs. Even pushing their responsibilities on to a so-call Super Committee didn’t work. The committee failed to reach and agreement on how the cut the deficit over the next 10 years. By the way, these folks make pretty good money to suck at not doing their jobs.

I still say I could gather a few friends and family and cut a few trillion dollars in about an hour. Then we could restore Social Security and Medicaid (without hurting current beneficiaries), eliminate some of the roadblocks to more efficient healthcare and, after lunch, figure out a cost-effective way for the government to help feed the food-insecure kids in this country.

We face big issues, but I spy nobody willing or able to deal with them or offer substantive solutions to them. Where are the ideas? Attack Planned Parenthood? Deport millions of illegal immigrants? Strip the EPA of any effective power? Change the Constitution to embrace your idea of family?

We are devoid of leaders. On both sides of the political aisle.

Our greatness will continue to come largely from the private sector in the long run, since it will be private industry that ultimately hires workers, builds products and creates solutions. Bringing American workers back to work helps us all, and helps us rebuild in the ever-changing world our small-thinking politicians are unable to embrace.

Merry Christmas Darn It

Nowadays those two words will bring you all kinds of heat. I have no problem with “Happy Holidays,” but, sheesh, aren’t we taking this whole thing too far? I mean, politicians are so afraid of Merry Christmas they’re now calling those green things with ornaments “Holiday Trees.” Apparently politicians fear even the slightest possible thought that they might be inadvertently insulting some unknown voter, no matter the intent.

Too much for me. You want to cover other religions or beliefs, then make sure the symbols of  those are in evidence as well. But Christmas is Christmas, darn it, and wishing someone Merry Christmas should be taken in the same spirit in which it is delivered . . . it’s freakin’ Christmas, have a great time . . . go to church if you like, sing a few Christmas carols if you like, open a few presents if you like, maybe even enjoy a mug of hot cider . . . My wishing you a Merry Christmas is nothing but positive and joyful.

The problem isn’t my saying it, it’s your twisted “everything’s an insult” Grinchy 21^st Century attitude. Lighten up . . . and Merry Christmas

Trump Lowers the Debate Bar Even More

Suppose they held a political debate and nobody showed? Gosh wouldn’t that be great, and it’s my holiday season wish for this political season (well, after my supreme wish that Rick Santorum’s hair would fall out and he’d be too embarrassed and his ego too bruised to continue his verbal plundering of all that is not his).

The notoriously egomaniacal and thin-skinned Donald Trump, he who lords over his brass-polished hotels and Celebrity Apprentice, is holding court December 27 and has summoned the GOP hopefuls to kneel before him as he moderates their verbalisciousness. Two candidates, Ron Paul and John Huntsman, have declined the offer, which immediately prompted the Trumpster to call them “joke candidates.” For some reason they decline to be a part of what will be a very non-presidential sideshow, with Trump as the carnival ringmaster. Drop the bar any lower and a snake couldn’t get under it.

Calling two candidates jokes doesn’t sound like a debate moderator to me, and added to the fact that Trump has said he may run as an independent all meaningful bets are off. Now you’ll recall that Trump was at one time part of the thundering GOP presidential herd. If you’re like me, you have no clue what his political positions were except that he believed President Obama wasn’t born in the US. That, of course, really isn’t a political issue, it’s a hate issue raised to pander to the most obtuse and narrow-minded of the so-called base. That’s not a base; it’s a group of dopes.

Those people will vote for whoever’s running against Obama. What’s the point in continuing to lather them with the same old saddle soap?

So one of my Christmas wishes this year is that candidates continue to just say “no” to the Trumpster. Might be fun, I’ll admit, watching him rip every critic who pops off about his independent run if he chooses to go that way.

Ahh, that would be too much to hope for, I suppose.

More Pet Peeves Confessions (Better Than a Real Confession)

Well, thousands of you have contacted me and want to know more of my pet peeves . . . not really, but even we hermits have our quirks . . . (oh come on, lighten up . . . you know you have dozens of pet peeves, too).

The telephone seems to be an issue for many people . . . not me, of course . . . but really, don’t you hate it when someone you call says . . . “Oh, hey, stranger, haven’t heard from you in a long time. What’s up?” Frack you . . . you could have called me, no?

And forget about returning a call. Under normal circumstances, I’m saying anything outside of three days and you’re rude and late. Someone better have died, given birth, been deployed, be developing a new Iron Man suit or fantastically frantic for them not to return a call in three days.

Don’t you love all these food shows? Yeah, me, too . . . but doesn’t it bug you when a chef has to explain to some judging panel (why do those judges always look like they’re watching a hanging, by the way?) how to eat his or her dish? “Take some of this or that, dip it in the sauce and then just touch the spoon-smeared reduction on the plate  . . .” I just want to be able to eat how I want. What am I, 5-years-old? Yeah, neither are the judges . . . hang him . . .

I gave my wife a custom-made fly rod as an anniversary gift once, just before we headed out west. Could have been worse . . . how many guys are going to give vacuum cleaners to their female partners this year? Bad idea, but you’d think vacuuming was the most pleasurable chore ever to watch all those vacuum ads. Dancing around the living room with some new-fangled colorful vac or racing over the bedroom floor with a steam vac thingie. (Apparently men don’t vacuum.) Go with a nice scarf as a gift instead.

As kind of a marketing guy, I always wonder whether someone actually watches his or her company’s ads before they’re finalized. There’s a nice looking kitchen design company ad set to music that airs regularly on my sat tv, but with no audio other than the music. If I’m not watching, how the heck do I know what the company is? End the audio with the name of the firm, address and phone number.

And speaking of which, every ad should have the company’s full address (don’t assume I know what town your street is in), phone number and web address. Watch . . . a bunch of them don’t . . . well what the heck . . . your ad is probably hitting regionally . . . I’m in New Hampshire watching my dish and have no idea where in Burlington Vermont or Plattsburgh New York XYZ Street is.

I love football, but don’t you sometimes wonder about where the ball is placed after a play? I mean they eyeball the spot up and down the field and then bring out the chain for an exact fractional measurement when it’s close to a first down. So they could be off by a couple of feet on every play except the one that really counts.

Five Tips for Politicians Who Never Seem to Learn

It seems we need another reminder on what never to say (or act) when running for political office. I say this because apparently the candidates never seem to learn.

First, try not to use the “Nazi” card . . . as in “Those other guys are acting like a Nazis by not voting on this measure I really like.” Just rubs people the wrong way unless you're trying to find a real bad guy for a book or movie.

Second, avoid the “God called on me to run” card. If God called on you, I’m doubting it was to throw your hat into a ring filled with political fools, which now includes you. I’m not sure, but God probably won’t set the bar that low.

Third, if you’re accused of some wrongdoing in your past, don’t act surprised if it comes up now. That’s not a media conspiracy, that the media’s job. Address the issue assertively and clearly and honestly when the story breaks. Don’t keep altering and clarifying it over the next couple of weeks. Then lay off personally attacking whatever or whomever it is accusing you of whatever and tell your lawyer not to threaten anyone (re: Herman Cain’s attorney Lin Wood). Failure to accept this will result in a story growing legs and developing over weeks, kill your campaign (no matter how much you bitch at the press), and in the end won’t stop whatever truth there is from coming out. People will forgive and forget, but not if you fumble, mumble and lie at the outset.

Fourth, don’t wear a coat and tie when campaigning in a country diner. If you dress differently than those around you, you’re the “don’t get it” politician. Fit in you dope. Nobody wears a coat and tie to a diner unless they’re on their way to an office job. Lose the fancy duds, break out an old golf shirt (not a new Izod) and have at those eggs and country-fried steak with homemade biscuits. In the long run you’ll feel much better about yourself and those photos of you fitting in with the locals will live forever.

Fifth, try not to be stupid. We voters aren’t, in the long run, stupid. We may act that way in the beginning, but we’ll eventually figure you out. Try to come up with some useful ideas instead of just pissing on the other guy. And if you’re running attack ads instead of giving us a good idea of where you stand on issues important to us (start with the economy, jobs, Medicare, the deficit people like you created, healthcare and child welfare . . . feel free to add yours). Why should I vote for you, not just why shouldn’t I vote for the other schmuck? I figure you’re not going to keep your pledges when you’re elected, but at least give me something to chew on before I get into the voting booth.

(Note: Don’t worry, I have tons of other tips for these guys. After all, with a year to go, do you really think they have a clue about how to act or not to act?)

Experts? Nah . . . Just Filter the News and Find Your Way Through the Maze of Confusion, Pundits and Boneheaders

I had an editor at a newspaper who told us never the use the word “expert” in a headline “because one man’s expert is another man’s assh***.” That was then and this is now . . . we live in a world filled with "experts."

I was lucky in that first full-time job at a local paper. My first editor told me to forget writing for the sports desk and instead work as a general assignment reporter for a bit, and if I decided to head to sports later, then that was fine, but writing about sports, he said, didn’t make me a news guy, which he felt was the base for any journalistic endeavors later. He was right, as a reporter and feature writer I was able to

The newspaper industry is dying a slow torturous death as we turn to online news sources. The editorial and op-ed pages was where the opinions were printed. Now, people don’t get the difference between news shows and “pundit” shows. Bill O’Reilly is not a news person. Neither is Rachael Maddow. You may like ‘em, but they’re not giving you the news, they are giving you commentary.

The world has changed, we think something, Tweet it and it’s around the world to all our followers in a flash. We share our thoughts and lives on Facebook and all that is out there, where that is, forever. Now even your neighbor is an “expert” on whatever because he saw it on the web. Yikes.

Put on your “news” filters, folks, because if you’re getting your “news” from one place, then you’re probably mis-informed. We used to read at least eight or 10 papers a day. Of course we didn’t have to pay for them and they were all delivered to the news desk, but the point is that we actually read. Not glimpsed or skimmed . . . actually read. That seems to be too much work for people now. We surrounded by more news and media outlets than ever . . . but we still take those one-time internet posts and pass them around from place to place until they seem real and truthful. A while later they circulate again . . . they seem even more real and truthful then.

Let’s remember to take step back filter what you read and then take a few minutes to fact-check. Because along with all those news and media outlets are dozens of easy to access sites that debunk rumors and untruths, or help you give you the cold facts on information you’re digesting.

We vote for a President in a year. It’s worth the small effort to check those claims, charges and statements from those who would be President. You may not get much ink on your fingers in this digital age, but there’s no excuse for not getting the news you want if you want it.

My Pet Peeves . . . I Have a Few (Don't Try to Steal Them . . . They're Mine)

Much as I’d like to say I have no pet peeves, the truth is I actually have a few. Hard to believe, but our pet peeves are our way of pausing and going, “hmmm . . . that’s weird . . . why do they do that?” You know, those little things that kind of make us twitch a bit. Now, since I’m pretty much a hermit up here in New Hampshire I’ve whittled down my pet peeve list a bit.

But a few remain. Most of them, I’ll admit, are a bit silly . . .

What’s with the tomato and lettuce on the bottom of those restaurant burgers? That stuff’s supposed to be on top.

Why can’t a label be honest? “Natural,” for instance means virtually nothing on a food label. I also want to know whether or not my veggies have been genetically engineered or my fish raised in some fish farm somewhere. So tell me.

Why can I get an airplane delivered by Amazon for nothing, but it costs more than the product itself to ship from some places? (Finally Harry and David is offering better or free shipping on some orders . . . and LL Bean’s is nailing it with its new free shipping policy and ad campaign.)

Hair plugs. Really? One of my subconscious work rules was to never work for a guy with hair plugs. If he’s that insecure about his hairline, what the heck else is he going to be insecure about and how does that play with his being a boss? And while we’re at it, why are there still so many guys doing the comb-over thing? If’s you’re covering more than a couple of inches of bare landscape, then cut it and forget it.

Stop trying to make your restaurant’s food fancier than it is. Resist your urge to cover a great piece of fish with an over-wrought sauce. Keep it simple and showcase the food.

Don’t ask me to trust you while you’re sharpening a knife when I’m not around. The workplace has changed . . . look out for yourself and protect yourself. They’ll dump you if they can because they have their own agendas, and you may not know what they are. Be careful about hitching a ride on your boss’ skirt because you never know when they’ll come after him or her and you’ll get caught in the crossfire. Call me a cynic . . . but it happens again and again . . . we all have the work scars to prove it.

I’ll save a few for later . . . I don’t want to seem too pet peevy, after all . . .