They may be cool, but electric cars aren't ready for prime time

All right, let's just pop one of these big fat all-over-the-news balloons: Electric cars suck. And will until they are priced in the mainstream of gas-based vehicles.

Oh, nice, spoken like some old guy who drives a 10-year-old, tank-like SUV. That’s me.

The idea of having a car you can plug in at night then unplug and drive off to work the next morning is a kind of cool idea. But really, are you going to pay $40,000 for a kind of cool idea? Especially when that charge will last for maybe 100 miles, requires a 220-volt plug somewhere other than to your dryer, and will require you to change the batteries after maybe 7 years (at a cost of $7,500 to $10,000 or, in the Nissan Leaf $18,000)? Ouch.

Anyone ever have a problem with a battery-powered device? Can you imagine if EV batteries have as many problems as laptop or cell phone batteries? Suddenly “warming up the car” takes on a whole new meaning. (And I haven’t even touched on the cost absurdity of Tesla’s $140,000 two-seat EV sports car. Buy a damn Porsche Cayenne S Hybrid, get about 24 miles to the gallon, bank the $70,000 difference, load up the family and still blow the doors off most vehicles on the road.)

All right, let’s say you have a pile of money, have no friends or family farther away than 100 miles, and want to make a major environmental statement. You buy the EV, get $7,500 off thanks to the government, spend the $500 to $2,000 to get the 220-volt plug, maybe pay another $1,000 or so if your EV needs a special charger. So you’re in for maybe $35,000 or so. Don’t forget there will be maintenance costs as you go along, and then that big battery hit a few years down the road.

On the good side, the car doesn’t produce any bad exhaust stuff (though power plants that make electricity do . . . and I still smoke so I’m screwed one way or another), costs little to charge (depending on rates 50 cents to a couple of bucks per charge), and doesn’t use costly and politically unpopular gas. (We go to wars over that stuff.) So that’s good.

Doesn’t make a bit of economic sense for most people, but apparently studies show EVs are viable for tons of people who commute within that 100-mile out and back window. Of course, a hybrid has a longer range because it has a gas as well as electric motor. In time, states will mandate (as California has) a certain minimum number of EV sales, prices will come down, we’ll get a better handle on reliability and “plug and play” will become a whole new reality.

But until then, I can go out and buy some reasonably comfortable small car for $20,000, pay the fuel costs, etc. and save at least $20,000 over 7 years or so? The old-time “commuter car” suddenly looks like a pile of found money.

Now I’m no math wiz (as my parents will attest), but until they make economic sense for the masses (who don't need it to haul the family to a vacation spot), electric cars will remain an expensive luxury for urban dwellers with too much money lying around. The EV flock about to descend upon us may be kind of a cool start, but it’ll be a while until they’re ready for prime time with most of us.