A few personal thoughts and (little) goals for a New Year

I guess we all make resolutions at one time or another . . . It sure seems the thing to do New Year’s Eve. Can I avoid making "resolutions" and instead offer a few thoughts on things that are important to me next year and maybe a few things I hope to accomplish? (Don't get all excited, they're pretty unexciting and perhaps mundane, but I'm owning them, such as they are.)

So what’s on my mind entering a new year? Here’s are 7 thoughts . . .

I’ll start by stating the obvious . . . I want to stay healthy this year and avoid hospitals. It sure seems that if hospitals were timeshares and I had a piece of that action, I’d get my money’s worth out of it . . . I’d rather avoid that.

1. So I’ll eat better and exercise more, increase the walking and lift more weights.

The house is my castle. The bedroom has been rearranged, living room and kitchen areas are good, but the office remains a disaster.

2. That office cleanup will be finished in 2016.

As my de-cluttering continues, I’ll pare things down a bit . . . That means some books, dvds, art and random collections (maybe even some comic books) will go. More books to the senior home and the troops, and a few things on Craigslist. All my salt water fishing things went this year, but the freshwater gear is set.

3. That means some more fishing in 2016.

I’ve always enjoyed photography . . . whether in college shooting mostly spots, or working at the paper and covering breaking news or features for my articles. More of that in 2016 . . .

4. Travel with a camera and make sure to always think of photo ops, no matter where I’m going or what I’m doing. Take more photos and work to take better photos.

My garden has become a real pleasure for me. All on my newly expanded deck in a variety of containers and planting tables, my little garden explodes with bright colors at the end of the summer as tomatoes and peppers turn from green to red, yellow and orange.

5. Plant fewer varieties in 2016 and increase production of veggies I can dry, freeze and preserve. And grow a better flower containers to attract more bees and hummingbirds.

Along with that goes some more canning . . . Jam in 2016, as well as the pepper relish and pepper jelly I did this year . . . Applesauce from my trees was good and we’ll do that again.

6. Write more.

I did that this year with my blog, but I need to finish (Book One) Anika . . . Rise of a Warrior (I’ve found my emotional ups and downs and comings and goings play a major role in how much of that I’ve worked on.) . . . Time to wrap it up. 

7. Finally, I’ll always try to look for the “half full” in everything. Disengage with the negative people in your life. Negativity tears us apart over time, and I do believe that sending out positive vibes has a positive effect on other people and events. Surprise people . . . pay for someone’s meal . . . pay something forward in even a small way . . . Enjoy your life . . . Smile and laugh a lot, and love the people around you with all your heart . . .

Those are my hopes for 2016 . . .

Happy New Year . . . Raise a glass . . .

When will we start caring more about what we do and less about what other people do?

 Will we ever reach the point where we say, “She’s a dancer” instead of, “She’s a black dancer.”? “He’s a Christian, you know.” Does it matter if he’s a “gay chef” or just a chef? Why?

I’ve found that I just really don’t care.

If someone’s good at what they do, then that’s really all that matters, not whether they’re white, black, Asian, green or purple, straight, gay, undecided, Republican or Democrat. And even if someone’s not particularly good at something, some descriptors just don’t matter to me.

“She’s a great chef.”

“He’s fabulous dancer.”

What he or she does in the bedroom is really none of my business. If someone cares to share that information, fine. That’s different. We’re living in a world with an active 24-hour news cycle where wars rage, refugees flee, kids are murdered, families starve and people can’t afford their medicine . . . and yet we spend more time worrying about Kim Kardashian’s tits and ass than we do about any of that other stuff.

We are a society of voyeurs. We want to know every little juicy detail about everyone else, especially celebrities . . . Reality TV, online celebrity glamour sites, and sites tracking every celebrity move ever made . . . Who’s sleeping with whom? Why is he going out with her? Isn’t he gay? I didn’t know he was gay. Oh I love that water bottle that celebrity is using.

So we admire fake boobs and tight shorts, as well as hunky shirtless hunks, but why are we taking all of that so seriously? Why aren’t we paying less attention to the little things like celebrity and other people’s sex lives than we are? Why do we focus on race, ethnicity, sexual orientation and what some famous person is doing more than on what we are doing?

Just seems strange to me . . . at times titillating, but all consuming? It sure seems so at times.

Take a minute every day to think about how lucky you are

As I approach the 3-year anniversary of losing my leg, it’s kind of funny to think of some of the changes it has made me face. I always get a bit contemplative and reflective around the New Year.

I'll always acknowledge I was lucky . . .

Lucky a friend called a friend who called the police to check on me. 

Lucky I was prodded (that may be a gentle way of putting it) after declining the EMT request to take me to the emergency room the night before. 

Lucky it wasn't worse and that I survived the trip to the ER and the transfer to Dartmouth. 

Lucky they made me better. 

Lucky the systemic infection hadn't penetrated deeper and further into my right leg. 

Lucky to be surrounded by my friends and family.
Lucky to have two daughters who, along with a friend, bore much of the brunt of my health crash.

Lucky to have been able to come home with a prosthesis after rehab. There was a lot of thought I wouldn't make it back, but I always saw home, for better or worse, as my safe zone. 

Lucky to have been able to learn how to drive with hand controls, and lucky to have a daughter willing to test drive cars and make sure I could get in and out of them before I could drive myself. Lucky to have a friend who stuck by me through all that and remains my warrior guardian angel. 

Lucky to be here.

I think of those things and many more every time I take off my fake leg. 

The stump, or "residual limb" as it is nobly called. Remains something like an unfinished sentence . . . just dangling there with no end. No ankle and foot to complete it. Instead, the remaining bit of leg is covered with a urethane sleeve, then a carbon fiber shell that snaps into the base of the sleeve . . . stainless steel and titanium pieces fit together in a kind of a non-moving ankle continuing down and tucked into a synthetic foot. The whole thing is a mockery of a real leg, of course, but it does provide the ability to walk.

Underneath, though, is just that stump.

I remember the recovery room after my amputation. The calm hustle and bustle of the nurses checking patients at various stages of recovery. My sheet and covers sagging to the mattress where they should have been draped over my leg. It was strange to see that.

Not shocking or upsetting, just strange at that point. The die had been cast days earlier. Losing part of the leg was inevitable. The question was, "how much of the leg," and the answer was a bit unclear. I fought it a bit, opting for a couple of surgeries to try and abrade the dying foot, but it was clear that wasn't a solution.

So I'm lucky. I'm home. I have a wonderful family and fabulous friends. I am lucky to have a guardian angel here on earth who protects me . . . sometimes from myself. 

I wish everyone a very happy holiday season, a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Take a minute each and every day to think about how lucky you are. How truly blessed you are. Never lose sight of that . . . even when things look gray and dark, rejoice in what you have.

Just think how lucky you are.

I do. Every damn day.

Consider the fruitcake (or not) in all its celebratory glory

Consider the fruit cake

People love them. People hate them. I happen to like a good fruit cake.

But year in and year out, millions of them are sold, which disproves the old joke about just one fruitcake that is passed from person to person.

(Panlasang  Pinoy Recipes Photo)

Dating back to Roman times (and some might argue that a fruit cake will last that long), it’s hard to think of another food that is as joked about and mocked.

Johnny Carson is widely credited with giving the baked good a bad rap in December 1985 when he quipped on The Tonight Show, “The worst Christmas gift is fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” (source: mental floss)

Often it’s the booze that makes the cake. It seems the holidays gives bakers the chance to create fabulously boozy baked goods, fruit cakes included . . . but also plum cakes and oh so delicious rum cakes.

When I had my store, we had a customer who make an incredible rum cake. Boozy as hell, but rich, dark and filled with raisins and nuts. She made a lot of those cakes, coming in every week or so to buy a bottle of Bacardi 151. It was an adult treat (and probably a tag, “Contains Rum. Eat responsibly” was needed). Bless her for sharing.

http://www.fruitcakesociety.org/

There’s a huge difference between those grocery store fruit cakes that are often dry and made with mediocre ingredients and a fruitcake seek out fruitcake makers like Colin Street Bakery or Trappist or abbey bakeries. Check the following links as a start . . . You’ll find delicious options here . . .

http://www.monasterygreetings.com

So while the fruitcake has been a staple of England’s Royal family during celebrations, including Diana and Charles’ wedding, it has also been used for various celbrations around the world.

Fruitcakes from Assumption Abbey, Abbey of Our Lady of Guadeloupe, Monastery of the Holy Spirit and others are in the catalogue and website.

Grab a bite if you like . . . ‘Tis the season . . .

Sometimes the barriers for the disabled are right in front of us

There’s no getting around it . . . I’m disabled.

Come February, it will be 3 years since my lower right leg was amputated after a sugar-driven infection polluted my body and it all came tumbling down. You can read previous posts about all that if you wish, so I’m not going into it here.

As far as disabilities go, I’m pretty lucky. I have a prosthesis and manage to get around moderately well, but with some limitations, though I never was the most nimble person in the world. (Don’t laugh those who know me.) Stairs suck for me, and my balance isn’t very good . . . that fake leg just doesn’t adjust to imbalance the same way a real foot and lower leg do, making constant little adjustments that keep us stable. You can’t feel exactly where the foot of the prosthesis is.

But that’s OK. It could have been worse, and my limitations are nowhere as serious as many people’s.

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a weekend event and took my wheelchair with me for the first time since I lost my leg. I usually get around on crutches, and sometimes a cane. But since I wasn’t familiar with the location and didn’t know how far it was from place to place at the event, I packed the chair into the back of my Jeep, and was glad I did.

It’s often very comforting to do these new things with people who know you. The friend who met me at the event happens to be very protective and is constantly aware of not only her surroundings, but mine as well, since she’s known me for years and went through the whole amputation issue with me. I used the wheelchair chair to get around and she pushed me frequently.

When I said afterwards that I felt bad about that and maybe we shouldn’t have used the chair so much, she disagreed (rather forcefully I must add), saying she knew that in the chair I was safe getting around and less likely to stumble, get fatigued or get bumped around in crowds. Since the hotel (and event venue) had lots of carpeted rooms and hallways, a wheelchair is kind of like mucking through mud, and I was surprised at how tiring that could be . . . and how slow moving it sometimes made me. Her “cone of protection” and aid was invaluable. That's something to keep in mind if you are headed somewhere or you have a disabled friend you’re meeting somewhere.

Different people react differently to those with disabilities. Some of my views changed a bit years ago while working in New York when I managed a group of marketing communications writers at a financial firm. One of them was a paraplegic and confined to a chair. Watching him overcome obstacle after obstacle . . . stairs, steps, curbs, narrow entries and space between tables at restaurants was an eye opener. Obstacles and hurdles everywhere. I used to wonder if laws and rules on accessibility were too burdensome or overreaching. That experienced changed my mind. I stopped wondering if it was worth cutting all those curbs for easier access, and I applaud The New York Times for noting accessibility in its restaurant reviews.

Now that I need to pay better attention to entrances and such, it’s even more important to be aware of where I’m going. I may love bed and breakfast spots in old Victorian homes, but they are pretty much scratched off my list in favor of more modern . . . and accessible . . . hotels. My friends and family scout locations for me at times when they go somewhere, and if I’m invited out, I always ask if the place is accessible . . . If they’re not sure, I call the restaurant. Again, chain places are usually easy in and out, but a lot of places aren’t. For me, if there are stairs, a good handrail is important . . . For some people, good access in a rest room is key so they can maneuver a chair easily in the bathroom and into a stall.

A recent trip out to a dinner proved the point . . . I was told the restaurant was accessible, but it really wasn’t . . . I brought my cane and left the crutches at home, which (as I was warned beforehand and learned for myself when I arrived) was a bad plan since I was unfamiliar with the place. There were some 8 steps up to the hostess station after entering (the rest room was at that level), and the area where the group I was joining was gathered was down 8 steps . . . “Accessible” was that the lower dining area could be entered from a ramp and entrance at the rear of the building. So I drove around back and went in, but someone confined to a chair wouldn’t have had access to the rest rooms from that lower level.

Now I call the restaurant to be sure.

As I said, different reactions from different people. Be aware if you have some challenges getting around that not everyone pays attention to those around them. You may get jostled or bumped, or people may not see you as readily if you’re in a wheelchair below their normal line of sight. Not all doors are easy to open, and sometimes people will try to scoot through before you or won’t think to hold it open so you can get through. I often wear shorts so people can see I have a prosthesis (and long pants sometimes get hung up around the leg base of my fake leg). Staff in most places is very helpful, but make sure you’re aware of little things like wet floors when you’re maneuvering round (wet floors and crutches don’t mix very well). Also note the space between tables and down rows of tables because it can be too narrow for a wheelchair, so make a note for a friend if you need to.

I’ll admit the weekend excursion was way out of my comfort zone . . . I haven’t stayed overnight anywhere but home since I lost my leg nearly 3 years ago . . . but it turned out very well, both at the hotel and the event itself. Modern facilities are designed to accommodate people facing physical challenges . . . call the hotel to double-check on where to enter and where handicapped parking is located (at this hotel, there was no parking in front, but plenty of parking in back, where two double doors had push automatic openers. The front doors, though plenty wide, did not have the openers).

My friends and family know my limitations and my concerns. If you’re heading somewhere new, don’t be afraid to ask questions before you get there to make sure you can get in and out and enjoy your visit comfortably. If you’re worried about something, tell your companions or the staff. Don’t just tough it out. Likewise, if you need help, ask . . . most people are more than willing to help you out. Finally, if you find there are issues with accessibility (for instance a step up to a dining area that doesn’t have a handrail) mention that to the manager . . . nicely.

A step here and there is no problem for most people, but could be a major barrier for someone in a wheelchair or with other mobility issues.

The politics of fear: We need better than these cowards

(Part 2 of 2)

So let’s take a minute and hit the pause button on all this talk for a minute and look at some facts and not over-simplified political rhetoric.

First, we know based on information we have and the information on refugees already well settled in the U.S. that refugees have been a virtual non-risk here. We also know, at least through the Paris attacks, that no Syrians were involved (though the nationalities of several suspects and 2 killed in police raids is not yet known). Based on that factual information, then, Syrians appear to pose little risk to us as refugees or otherwise.

Let’s take Chris Christie’s statement that he wouldn’t let “women and orphaned children” into the U.S. Why? What does that statement serve other than to fan the flames of fear and ignorance? Is some 5-year-old going to mount a terrorist attack? Ridiculous. And yet people cheer the statement.

Look, I’m afraid of plenty of stuff, but I know there aren’t monster’s under my bed.

Maybe we should stop thinking that everyone not like us is a monster under the bed. Even cops and security officials think the current “stop the refugees” talk is cheap, easy and dodges other risks.

There are approximately 1 million names on the so-called terror watch list. About 5 percent of them, or 50,000 are U.S. citizens or permanent residents. The “no fly list” (a U.S. only list that is designed to prevent those people from getting on a commercial plane) contains about 45,000 names (though that number has been questioned). Both lists have been widely criticized as generating false positives, listing people who pose no security list, and some who are children. So while it’s apparent we need to pay better attention to and tighten screening of suspects, the lists provide what may be a worthwhile risk assessment.

So why are people on these lists allowed to purchase guns here?

Why, too, are we worried about possibly 10,000 refugees when every year we let tens of millions from 38 countries into the U.S. without visas. Under the waiver program, those people can stay for up to 90 days.

Two of the 9/11 hijackers overstayed their visas . . . (expired visas) . . . all entered the U.S. on visas . . . Of the other 18 9/11 hijackers, 14 came to the United States on six-month tourist visas and four came on business visas, according to the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States. Once in the U.S., two of the hijack pilots applied to have their immigration status changed to vocational student, but neither used such a visa on their subsequent re-entry into the country.

So while student visas may also be an issue, they weren’t, despite rumors and threads to the contrary, an issue on 9/11.

While many of the security measures that failed on 9/11 have been changed in the ensuing years, it’s clear that the visa waiver program could be tightened and the terrorist watch and no fly lists can be better used to limit weapons (or materials) purchases.

Congress can and should tighten those loopholes immediately.

It’s easy to say, “Let’s stop the Muslims,” especially if one is not a Muslim, but apparently it’s more difficult to look at what events have actually (factually) happened here. By far the most attacks have been perpetuated by white males with guns, shooting up schools, malls, political gatherings, churches, and movie theaters.

Not to go all Facebook on clever little sayings, but should we ban white makes from movie theaters or malls? Why not? If they are responsible for the dozens of multiple public deaths and shootings over the past 10 years . . . According to the FBI, there have been 146 mass shootings in the past 7 years (in which more than 4 people died). Without getting into a gun debate, you’re more likely to be killed by7 a neighbor with a gun than a terrorist refugee.

And what’s with the “I’d rather take care of 50,000 vets before I take in 1 refugee” . . . ? Apples and oranges. We need to take much better care of our vets, manage programs and service for vets better than we do, and jump on Congress for failing, time and time again, to do its job and properly fund programs for veterans. That has not a thing to do with refugees, but is rather a smoke screen that dodges the issue under false pretenses. Why can’t we do both?

Why are we not preventing Saudis from entering the U.S. if most of the 9/11 hijacker were Saudis?

In the end, if we look at the facts instead of listening to political rhetoric and clever little Facebook blurbs, many of these muddled anti-Muslim and anti-refugee arguments just don’t hold up to much scrutiny.

I’m hardly some whiney over-wrought bleeding heart who cares nothing about anything but hugging people from around the world in every possible Kumbaya campfire moment. The world has indeed changed and we need to keep pace. We need to constantly review all our security measures and constantly adapt them to an ever-changing world and its ever-changing threats.

But I hope we can start using our brains again when we listen to politicians, who really know less than we do and are motivated, unlike us, by the need to convince people to vote for them. Is it worth throwing our Constitution aside to monitor religious groups? Are you really saying we need to have Muhammad Ali, Kareem Abdul Jabbar and thousands of other Muslims here register as threats?

Donald Trump would have us believe that every Muslim in the world is out to get us. His hateful rhetoric does nothing but fan the flames of hate . . . both with his own supporters and those overseas and here he has put on his own hate list. Trump is a coward.

Who is next?

I’d argue the danger is in our politicians, who have lost their moral compasses in the face world events, and would throw out the Constitution, our personal freedoms and our history because they are afraid. We need better leaders than this crop of narrow-minded cowards.

The politics of fear: We are driven by fear, not leadership

(Part 1 of 2)

Fear. That’s what we have now . . . fear overtaking our common sense and our willingness to push past the first layer of convenient political rhetoric and instead try to see what’s really happening and what the facts of an issue really are. Can we not do that? Or are we so invested in what people running for office are saying that we suspend our thinking minds and instead work ourselves into a frenzy over the soundbite  . . . the soundbite designed to prey on our fears.

Our fears now center around the terrorists scattered around the world that want to blow us up or shoot us. At least we each think we will be the victims of such violence, and that such violence will be delivered by a person most of us don’t understand . . . or want to. A Muslim.

Of course, since, in our fear, we see terrorist attacks as being made by people who are Muslims, we now allow ourselves to take the step . . . fed mostly by our politicians and their supporting cast of pundits . . . to thinking that all Muslims are evil, need to be watched and monitored, maybe even registered with the government, their mosques put under surveillance and their children denied refugee status and forbidden to enter the country. (We can’t seem to remember that most of the mass shootings over the past few years were carried out by non-Muslims.)

Those are some big steps . . . and those are some of our fears that really don’t hold up even in today’s reality.

<<Some facts: There are some 2.8 million Muslims in the U.S. About 15 percent of Muslims are unaffiliated with any specific religious body . . . As to their ethnicities, 34 percent are South Asian, 26 percent Arab, 24 percent African American, and 15 percent from other areas (or ethnicities).

So even though the Census Bureau does not collect data on people by religious affiliation, data from a variety of groups seems to show that Muslims represent less than 1 percent of the U.S. population.

Muslims have been here a long time. Some 15 percent of the slaves brought to the U.S. were Muslims, or, estimates show, perhaps 300,000 people (by 1800) (Census Bureau, Guardian/Wiki)>>

Here’s today’s soundbite: Keep Syrian refugees out of the U.S. because some of them may be terrorists.

Perhaps it’s important to note that not a single “terrorist” attack in the U.S. involved Syrians.

<< More facts: Each candidate is vetted first by the UN’s refugee agency, and then separately by officials from the State Department, the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security and the Defense Department. The process takes between 18 months and two years. (Guardian)

Since 2012, the US has accepted 2174 Syrian refugees – roughly 0.0007% of America’s total population.

The refugees the US takes in are among the most vulnerable in the Syrian conflict: many are women and their children, while others are religious minorities and victims of violence or torture. (Guardian)

Of the 785,000 refugees taken in by the U.S. since Sept. 2001, 3 have been arrested for terrorist activities. (Source: State Department, Migration Policy Institute) >>

As we noted above, no Syrians were engaged in the 9/11 attacks . . . 19 men hijacked 4 planes . . .American Airlines Flight 11 5 Saudis and 1 Egyptian . . . United Flight 175 . . . 3 Saudis and 2 United Arab Emirates . . . American Airlines Flight 77 . . . 5 Saudis . . . United Airlines Flight 93 . . . 3 Saudis, 1 Lebanese

So . . . 15 from Saudi Arabia, 2 from the United Arab Emirates, 1 from Lebanon and 1 from Egypt.

Again, none from Syria.

Clearly the attacks in Paris were horrible and brutal.

According to five U.S. officials, at least four of the Paris attackers were in an American intelligence counter-terrorism database, Reuters reported, and at least one of them was on the U.S. No Fly List.

Four of the 5 terrorists directly responsible for killing 129 and wounding more than 350 were French nationals, and the fifth was a Belgian. Some identities of others killed in police raids and those currently being hunted in connection with the attacks or on suspicion of terrorist activities are unknown, as are their nationalities.

Remember, too, that the Boston Marathon bombers were two Chechen brothers, the younger brother was a naturalized U.S. citizen and the elder brother was here legally on a green card and had applied for citizenship . . . Both are said to have self-radicalized and were not affiliated directly with any group.

Not Syrians or refugees.

The murders in California further riled the politicians, who fell back in their anti-Muslim rhetoric, especially Donald Trump, who called for a ban on all Muslims entering the country. Nevermind the Constitution, the national and international legal systems. No good can out of that. 

Fear will backfire on us.

Bitch all you want to, the NRA is doing exactly what it's supposed to be doing

Bitch and moan all you want, the National Rifle Association is doing exactly the job it is supposed to do. Whine, complain, scream and shout if you want, but the NRA has prospered because it was allowed to prosper.

I am not a member of the National Rifle Association.

I grew up around guns. My family and friends had guns. I’ve owned guns. I hunted birds and small game and enjoyed target shooting as well. Dad used to take me to the local dump in Vermont and we plinked cans with a .22 rifle. I had marksman classes at camp. (And, yes, I was a damn good shot.)

I have no interest in taking your guns, and I think that while the 2nd Amendment is misinterpreted and wrongly flaunted in nearly every debate or discussion about guns, that really isn’t the issue right now. At least read the darn thing and put it in its proper historical place before you start screaming that people are violating your “right” to own a gun.

Maybe that’s one of the issues, though. When did owning a gun become a right while other things, like driving, owning a credit card, attending local colleges, or even buying a house remain a “privilege” in today’s world? Sure you can get into a bar if you’re over 21, but you’ll need ID. That may mean getting a driving license . . . a written test, photo, and driving test. You pass you get your license. That a lot tougher than buying a gun in many places.

Each state has its own gun laws, and some cities and towns have laws on top of the state laws. Currently, 10 states have mandatory waiting periods before a buyer can take possession of a handgun . . . with some states allowing the gun to be picked up after a period of time even if a background check hasn’t cleared. Others mandate that a buyer has to wait a certain amount of time (usually 2-3 days) even if the background check comes back clean before that.

Final note to the media: Can you please learn a bit about guns . . . “automatic” vs. “semi-automatic” to start, “military assault weapons” (they aren’t . . . they are semi-automatic military “style” weapons . . . and so on). You sound stupid when you make basic factual errors.

A couple of simple (though nothing is “simple” when politics is involved) ideas:

First, let’s not allow people on the terrorist watch list to buy guns. Yes, some politicians argue against this idea because there may be people on the list who shouldn’t be. Fine, establish an appeals process. Otherwise, too bad.

Second, submit every gun sale in the country to a background check. Every one. So there’s no loophole for sales at gun shows or online or any states.

Third, we must have a deep and wide database for background checks, including mental health input (professionals should be able to “flag” potential problem individuals easily), and a system that links local, state and federal systems.

Fourth, broaden the application of the “Domestic Violence Offender Gun Ban” (which bans those convicted of a physical domestic violence charge) to include a ban on those convicted of stalking, harassment and threatening. If owning a gun is a "privilege," then you lose that privilege if you're convicted of threatening someone. Period.

Fifth, mandate gun safety certification for every gun buyer. The certificate would be good for 5 years, then the owner would have to go through another safety class. (I also feel hand-on gun safety classes are more important that classroom teachings, and would urge that, but I'm not sure how it could be established and managed.)

 Six, we need to keep weapons safe when not in use. Mandate trigger locks or gun safes to prevent easy access, especially by children, as well as gun theft. According to the FBI, nearly 3,000 deaths (or about 10 percent of yearly gun deaths) are caused by all forms of accidental shootings yearly. The highest numbers of deaths by guns are suicides (64 percent), with murders of all types about 25 percent. (Other categories fill in the remaining percentages.) (FBI/CDC/Time Magazine)

Six ideas that don’t really restrict access to guns, but does make them a bit more work to buy. There are dozens of others, like restricting certain types of weapons and the capacity of ammunition magazines. The effectiveness of many of those is questionable, though I think every avenue should be explored.

On the subject, note that few gun murders are committed with rifles of any type, including assault rifles. Statistics indicate of the some 9,000 yearly murders, just over 300 are are committed with rifles (2012). Six times more murders are committed with knives, and more than twice as many were caused by physical beatings, and more people were killed with shotguns than rifles. Some 4 percent of those killed by rifles are killed with “assault rifles,” an incredibly small number in terms of total murders. The recent shooting in California highlighted the weapons, but we need to know the issue beyond the headlines and political speeches. (FBI/CDC)

By far, most gun murders are committed with handguns.

Gun advocates argue that with more guns, more bad guys would be stopped before they committed really bad shootings. The evidence, though, doesn’t bear that out, no matter how viscerally good it might sound. More guns means more shootings and therefore accidents, deaths and injuries.

In 2012, for example, there were 259 gun-related justifiable homicides. There were about 67,000 incidents reported where guns may have stopped a crime of one sort or another, including burglaries. (The NRA claims 2.5 million crimes are stopped, but the FBI and law enforcement numbers don’t show that.) As a side note, more than 240,000 guns are stolen every year, with about 180,000 taken in burglaries. (FBI)

Let's not forget that 85,000 people are injured by guns every year, and more than 500 are killed in accidental discharge accidents. (Wiki/FBI)

The problem is that guns are dangerous, so when they discharge, very bad things can happen.

Many gun owners say owning a gun makes them feel safer. That may well be true, of course, but the evidence shows that they are unlikely to be a good guy stopping a bad guy and much more likely to be the victim of a gun-related accident themselves.

Let’s be clear . . . Many of these mass shootings (where 4 or more people are shot) are different from one another, as are the ways guns used were acquired. We can’t stop them all because we can’t stop every crazy person in the U.S. from doing something crazy, or some not-so-crazy person deciding he or she wants to shoot a bunch of people. Often all these shooters are completely unknown to any law enforcement agencies.

 Nothing fits in a nice neat box, though both gun advocates and anti-gun advocates would have us believe otherwise. What we can do is restrict a few sales, tighten a few loopholes and make sure the laws we have and new ones we create are well crafted and enforced.

That would be something, instead of nothing. 

Breakfast . . . It's what's for dinner . . . (or any other time)

We all know breakfast is the best meal of the day, right? So what the heck has taken so long for the fast-food and casual fast-food industry to catch on?

McDonald’s is finally offering all-day breakfast, so you can grab your Egg McMuffin any time you want. Perfect. (If you like fast food anyway.)

I enjoy breakfast any time of the day or night . . . That was one of the great things about living in New Jersey, with its 8 million diners every mile. A diner has a 48-page menu, and 90 percent of the people there are ordering eggs . . . Eggs over easy. Scrambled. Omelets. All with home fries or hash browns and bacon or sausage, a pot of coffee and a large orange juice.

Steak and eggs with home fries and horseradish

When I first started working in lower Manhattan, a work buddy and I would meet at a “diner” just up from work for breakfast. (I put “diner” in quotes, since I usually think of diners as those stand-alone, chrome-wrapped buildings, not the short-order places tucked in amongst the high-rise office buildings.) Those short-order restaurant, though, have many of the same great offerings . . . hot food served fast (Ever listen to the orders going into the kitchen?) . . . a huge menu, and waitresses who call everyone “honey,” “baby,” “dear,” or “sweetie.” I love them . . . Some of my friends hate being called “honey.”

So long as my eggs are over easy, I’m pretty happy.

I used to order eggs over easy with home fries and either bacon or sausage with a large pineapple juice at that restaurant up from 26 Broadway. My buddy usually ordered an omelet with sausage and a large orange juice. He liked pancakes, too. And keep the coffee coming.

I’ve calmed down a bit, and usually enjoy oatmeal or just eggs now over easy, poached or scrambled and every n0w and then soft boiled). Maybe a yogurt. Moderation can be a difficult thing. I’ll admit to adding some onion- and pepper-heavy home fries every once in a while. Low-sodium V8 Juice has replaced orange juice and pineapple juice.

I love eggs.

Fried egg with capers,
roasted tomatoes and steelhead..

They seem to be a single guy’s staple. Probably because they’re cheap and easy, though cooking them right can be a challenge for some. It’s the omelet that can be tough . . . the right fillings, and just cooked, not dry and too browned. There’s a reason one of the tests for would-be chefs is making an omelet.

Brunch is a bit of a different matter, a bit dressier than breakfast, with, hopefully some champagne or a mimosa and spruced up egg dishes . . .

When I try something new for “before lunch” fare, it still usually involves eggs of one sort or another . . . maybe baked eggs with baked zucchini, or an egg on top of steelhead and roasted tomatoes, poached eggs with roasted asparagus or other more grown up additions.

Baked eggs with zucchini and marinara.

So it’s nice to see McDonald’s and the others catching up to what the rest of us have known for a very long time . . . that breakfast is the best meal, day or night.

Morality is based on what we do, not necessarily our religious beliefs

We are not moral because of what we say we believe. We are moral because of what we do.

We seem to have lost our way a bit in this political season. Or perhaps we lost our way a while ago and it’s just bubbling through the muck and up to the surface now. Often I think we make things much more complicated than they are, and while certainly life has shades of grey weaving in and out, is there not a path we each are on? Is not that path filled with  little traps that tempt our moral compass, but that we can easily step around if we’re clear about ourselves and our beliefs.

No religious beliefs, necessarily. Just beliefs.

It’s a mistake to believe we are moral because we are Christians . . . or Hindus . . . or Buddhists . . . or Jews . . . or Muslims . . . or atheists . . . or whatever. Our religion does not make us moral. Our lack of religion does not make us immoral.

In today’s world (as well as throughout history), people stand up and tell us they are better . . . more moral . . . because they believe in God (or other deity). Of course, even within each religion, believers in one branch of that religion believe they are superior to other branches of the same religion, and vastly superior to those outside their broad religious “house,” if you will. Baptists think they are better than Presbyterians, Catholics think they are better than Methodists, etc. Simplified, perhaps, but why wouldn’t they think that? After all, we’re fortunate in this country to be able to choose our religion, and it’s not much of a stretch to think people always believe they’ve made the right choice.

The belief that, as a group, Christians, say, are more moral than others is, even on the face of it, silly. 

There are good and bad, moral and immoral Christians. And yet, we hear every day that “As a Christian . . . I believe . . .” whatever. OK. Fair enough. But that doesn’t make you right, of course.

Is it moral to say abortion is wrong but executing people is not? Is it moral to believe we should help the poor and needy as best we can and yet scream about helping refugees? (I might argue if the refugees were Christians, there would be no screaming . . . but since many of them are Muslims, the screaming grows louder. “My religion is better than their religion.”) Is it moral to not try with all our might to improve the care we give wounded vets we sent to war? Is it moral to let children in this great nation go hungry because we don’t spend the money on better food programs?

Indeed the world is a different place than it was 50 years ago, but we’ve grown more intolerant, or at least more vocal about our intolerance. Funny, because at the same time we’re often embracing the “nanny state” as we rail against bad language, inadvertent slights, the dangers of school playgrounds and recess, and the political correctness winding its way through universities, business and politics. That can be intolerance of another sort. Some good . . . some bad.

Now we’re at the point where we listen to politicians boldly tell untruths . . . OK, lie . . . and yet we don’t flinch of demand correction. Why? Politicians have never, as a group, had much of a moral compass . . . Many of today’s politicians appear not to have any moral compass. I’m not talking about political spin based on our political leaning, but the bold and boisterous setting aside of our country’s fundamental beliefs and historical road map for political expediency. Not just those at the fringes of political parties, but mainstream candidates.

So let’s stop saying, it’s moral because of our religious beliefs. Let’s just say it’s moral or it’s not. Let’s not confuse our political leanings . . . or the leanings of others as anything more than disagreements, not world-ending, God vs. Satan battles. Let’s remember that our country is filled with millions of people with vastly different beliefs. Let’s not be afraid to be humble and admit when we’re wrong. That’s what makes us better, not screaming louder, hating more and raising ourselves up by pushing others down. We can be tough, but also moral.

Carly Fiorina lies about an ant-abortion video . . . Donald Trump lies about “thousands and thousands” of people in New Jersey cheering the collapse of the World Trade Center buildings . . . Ted Cruz attends a “kill the gays” rally and busts a gut over marriage equality as being immoral . . .

Examples are simple.

Is it moral to hate other people because of their beliefs or their lifestyle?

No. And those who preach that and those sell that to cheering crowds willing to throw their moral compasses into the flames aren’t worthy of our endorsement. We are all better than that.