Slip sliding away

Why is it that every year, come the first snowfall, everyone who doesn't know how to drive hits the roads? No, really. Do these people forget how to drive in snow over the course of a year? Please, stay at home . . . practice driving in an empty parking lot . . . read a book instead.

Unfortunately, many of these people drive all-wheel-drive or four-wheel-drive type vehicles. They won't help you if you don't know how to drive. Seems to me the first guy I see in a ditch is driving a Jeep Cherokee or a really, really expensive Audi. Nope, you still have to actually steer and brake . . . and sometimes all those wheels spinning won't help, especially the braking part. But that four-wheel-drive will plow you right into a snow bank if you’re going too fast, so actually learning how to drive in the snow might be something to consider.

We used to go up to the parking lot at Stratton at night and spin our cars in the parking lot trying to see who could come closest to the huge snow banks. That old Dodge Dart slid just right. And I suppose growing up in New England helped us to get used to bad weather and bad roads. But, come on, I’m in New Hampshire and so are all these other people. I don’t know, maybe all the wackos moved from New Jersey . . . I’m assuming nobody moved from Florida.  It’s just driving. That said I’ll probably be the idiot who slides past his driveway and ends up in the ditch.

I also love the guy that can't figure out why his Honda got stuck. "I have all-season tires, and my car is front-wheel drive." Good luck with that set-up around here when the weather gets bad. All-season tires aren't. They suck in the snow because they mostly made to get good wear and mileage. And all these new cars have all kinds of electric drive control safety features, yet it seems that those babies are the first one off the road.

Now I realize this is something of a pet peeve of mine, but snow tires are made to handle bad weather, and you might want to consider them if you live around here, or any other place that routinely gets bunches of the white stuff. Beats having to call someone to yank your really, really expensive Audi out of a ditch because your Dunlop Sport high-performance all-season radials went slip sliding away and took you with them, splashing your extra large DD coffee all over that nice leather interior. Bummer, dude.

McDonald's Doesn't Make Us Fat . . .

 . . . It just makes it easier. And taking the toys out of Happy Meals won’t do much to prevent kids from getting fat. I suppose it’s a nice gesture in this world of government intrusion, but really, when most school lunches don’t meet the standards politicians have used to target McDonald’s why do they continue to intrude into private business?

The easy answer is that McDonald’s and other fast-food chains are, well, easy targets. Changing the way our children eat, however, is not an easy task. With school lunches, if you change one thing you have to change another . . . do this or that and it costs tons of money, runs into piles of silly government regulations or, in the case of removing vending machines from schools (another popular topic), costs schools revenue.

The San Francisco ordinance says restaurants will only be allowed to offer free toys or other fun stuff with meals containing fewer than 600 calories, fewer than 640 milligrams of sodium, less than 35 percent of calories from fat, and less than 10 percent saturated fat. The meal must also include at least a half-cup of fruits or veggies, and can’t come with fatty or sugary drinks.

What surprises me is how many people have embraced this Happy Meal toy tactic.

“McDonald’s is the stranger in the playground handing out candy to children,” said Stephen Gardner, litigation director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI), a non-profit health research and advocacy group based out of Washington, DC. In June, CSPI threatened to sue McDonald’s if they didn’t stop using toys to woo children. “McDonald’s use of toys undercuts parental authority and exploits young children’s developmental immaturity – all this to induce children to prefer foods that may harm their health. It’s a creepy and predatory practice that warrants an injunction.”

CSPI has done a lot of good things (though they do come across at times as anti-food terrorists), but as one can see, they have no hesitation to plop themselves in the middle of a family, tell parents they aren’t doing their jobs and then give them a set of rules to follow. Doesn’t work for me. First, government has no place telling parents how to raise their kids, and second, government has no place telling businesses how they should be run (excluding general safety rules etc.).

I  think having CSPI tell me how to raise my kids is creepy. And “undercuts parental authority?” Wow, there's a statement, especially since this type of legislation does exactly that. Ahh, but the difference, of course, is that politicians and organizations like CSPI see themselves as white knights slaying the beasts that are evil and bad. Oops . . . does that mean parents, too.

Fast food places work because they are easy and cheap. And I’m guessing that busy parents with a mini-van full of kids will still pull through the drive-up and buy a bunch of Happy Meals even without the toys.
The responsibility does and should rest with parents. Don't take the kids there all the time. Simple. And if your kids are screaming they want Happy Meals, then it's your responsibility to say no. Sheesh.

Give them the tools they need (nutritional information and education) and start teaching kids how to eat good, not just easy, stuff. And parents and schools need to educate kids on a greater scale that crap food may be ok every once in a while, but certainly not as a steady diet. The good food should be at home, and that’s a parental responsibility, too.

Ok. It's the Characters, Stupid

There’s a lot to be said about TV . . . it provides us news, entertainment, sports, stupidity. Oops. Stupidity in spades, of course. Fortunately, I have a dish and a billion channels, as well as a DVR and can largely avoid most of the stupidity. Well, that is if I care to avoid the stupidity. Now, one has to realize there are levels and degrees of stupidity. Lots of reality shows are stupid no matter how you look at them . . . I don’t really care about the Jersey Shore much, or the Kardashians . . . or Kate . . . or the Housewives (do these ladies really have friends?) . . . and some are stupid because the characters do stupid things. For instance, Billy the Exterminator and Swamp People don’t have stupid people in them, but holy catfish . . . is hooking a 12-foot alligator and dragging it to your (very) small boat a wise thing? Not for this oversized New England guy, but these folks make their living hunting alligators. Hell no. Both are shows are kind of addicting.

Other realities? Obviously they’re popular and cheaper to make (though those damn alligators would raise my rates if I was filming them). Hollywood Treasures, Auction Hunters and Auction Kings     work for me. Mostly because I love “stuff,” as anyone who has visited will attest. They find it, talk about it and sell it. Kinda cool. (DVR them to fill in those times when other stupid stuff gets to be too much on live TV.) American Pickers and Pawn Stars are the slightly older kids on the bock and they, especially Pickers, continue to work. (I need more junk.) Top Chef Desserts and The Next Iron Chef work for me, but Bitchin Kitchen is killing me. Great idea, appeals to a younger crowd, good food, but what’s with the over-the-top, tough girl Brooklyn-Jersey accent talk? Kill it and let her work. Almost unwatchable. Fortunately the Cooking Channel also offers up Foodcrafters, Unique Eats and Cook Like an Iron Chef.

On big-time TV, new series are dropping like wasps sprayed by Billy and his brother. Outlaw with Jimmy Smits . . . dead. Undercovers, despite J. J. Abrams, a basically decent plot line and likeable actors, has no real edge, lapses into boring writing and suffers at times from a kind of 70s look . . . dead. On the plus side, Hawaii Five-0 is working for me, thanks to the characters, writing, location and stories. Jim Bulushi and Jerry O’Connell make the banter and varied cases very watchable on The Defenders.  CSI is still creepy and good, and with the addition of Katte Sackhoff from Battlestar Galactica as a wisecracking grumpy cop continues to pop. Best line . . . “I’ll take point, don’t shoot me in the ass.” Criminal Minds is more creepy and stays creepily captivating every week. (But how do they get those shiny black Chevy Suburbans at every location?) CSI NY added Sela Ward, and she’ll be fine, though I miss Melina Kanakaredes. . (But let’s be careful about getting too soapy with the daughter getting used to New York.) NCIS remains one of my favorites. Don’t you just want to have them all over for pizza? I like NCIS Los Angeles, but it needs to continue to work the new characters into the thick of it. Brava Linda Hunt. Quirky, mysterious and knows everything.

Nice. It’s the cast of characters that makes most of these things work.

Football Follies

The NFL this season is beginning to look like a big salad that gets tossed every week after someone throws in a new ingredient. This or that team looks great then gets bashed the following week. This or that team looks terrible then beats up on what looked like a good team. Of course the big exception is Dallas, which has looked bad every week. Poor Jerry. At least he’ll have free tickets to the Super Bowl. Six best in the NFL? Steelers, Ravens, Jets, Patriots, Giants, Colts. Ok, that’s this morning. Green Bay, the Saints and Atlanta are close. The Patriots getting thumped by the Browns didn’t help them much, but tonight’s game against the Steelers should be filled with kicked and kicking butt. The Raiders? Really? Someone must have CPR’d the worst team in years into thinking they could actually play. And, frankly, that’s a good thing. Crazy wild fans rejoice. Pity my poor friends and family in Colorado, having to deal with all that snow and those Rocky Mountain storms and then heading inside to watch the Broncos. What the heck happened there? And poor old Brett. At least the $16-plus million he’ll pocket for the season will buy a couple of new tractors for him to ride around on next summer. I was shocked . . . shocked I say . . . when I heard him say he wasn’t coming back next season. Whew. I was deeply concerned. He’ll be even more worn out next preseason, though, because it looks like he’ll be sleeping on the couch for at least the next year. Flashes of greatness as always, but the soap opera that is the Vikings continues. All rightie . . . throw in some walnuts and dried cranberries, give it a toss and let’s see what happens today. (And if you're in Dallas or Denver, well, grab a beer or two.)