Sometimes the barriers for the disabled are right in front of us

There’s no getting around it . . . I’m disabled.

Come February, it will be 3 years since my lower right leg was amputated after a sugar-driven infection polluted my body and it all came tumbling down. You can read previous posts about all that if you wish, so I’m not going into it here.

As far as disabilities go, I’m pretty lucky. I have a prosthesis and manage to get around moderately well, but with some limitations, though I never was the most nimble person in the world. (Don’t laugh those who know me.) Stairs suck for me, and my balance isn’t very good . . . that fake leg just doesn’t adjust to imbalance the same way a real foot and lower leg do, making constant little adjustments that keep us stable. You can’t feel exactly where the foot of the prosthesis is.

But that’s OK. It could have been worse, and my limitations are nowhere as serious as many people’s.

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a weekend event and took my wheelchair with me for the first time since I lost my leg. I usually get around on crutches, and sometimes a cane. But since I wasn’t familiar with the location and didn’t know how far it was from place to place at the event, I packed the chair into the back of my Jeep, and was glad I did.

It’s often very comforting to do these new things with people who know you. The friend who met me at the event happens to be very protective and is constantly aware of not only her surroundings, but mine as well, since she’s known me for years and went through the whole amputation issue with me. I used the wheelchair chair to get around and she pushed me frequently.

When I said afterwards that I felt bad about that and maybe we shouldn’t have used the chair so much, she disagreed (rather forcefully I must add), saying she knew that in the chair I was safe getting around and less likely to stumble, get fatigued or get bumped around in crowds. Since the hotel (and event venue) had lots of carpeted rooms and hallways, a wheelchair is kind of like mucking through mud, and I was surprised at how tiring that could be . . . and how slow moving it sometimes made me. Her “cone of protection” and aid was invaluable. That's something to keep in mind if you are headed somewhere or you have a disabled friend you’re meeting somewhere.

Different people react differently to those with disabilities. Some of my views changed a bit years ago while working in New York when I managed a group of marketing communications writers at a financial firm. One of them was a paraplegic and confined to a chair. Watching him overcome obstacle after obstacle . . . stairs, steps, curbs, narrow entries and space between tables at restaurants was an eye opener. Obstacles and hurdles everywhere. I used to wonder if laws and rules on accessibility were too burdensome or overreaching. That experienced changed my mind. I stopped wondering if it was worth cutting all those curbs for easier access, and I applaud The New York Times for noting accessibility in its restaurant reviews.

Now that I need to pay better attention to entrances and such, it’s even more important to be aware of where I’m going. I may love bed and breakfast spots in old Victorian homes, but they are pretty much scratched off my list in favor of more modern . . . and accessible . . . hotels. My friends and family scout locations for me at times when they go somewhere, and if I’m invited out, I always ask if the place is accessible . . . If they’re not sure, I call the restaurant. Again, chain places are usually easy in and out, but a lot of places aren’t. For me, if there are stairs, a good handrail is important . . . For some people, good access in a rest room is key so they can maneuver a chair easily in the bathroom and into a stall.

A recent trip out to a dinner proved the point . . . I was told the restaurant was accessible, but it really wasn’t . . . I brought my cane and left the crutches at home, which (as I was warned beforehand and learned for myself when I arrived) was a bad plan since I was unfamiliar with the place. There were some 8 steps up to the hostess station after entering (the rest room was at that level), and the area where the group I was joining was gathered was down 8 steps . . . “Accessible” was that the lower dining area could be entered from a ramp and entrance at the rear of the building. So I drove around back and went in, but someone confined to a chair wouldn’t have had access to the rest rooms from that lower level.

Now I call the restaurant to be sure.

As I said, different reactions from different people. Be aware if you have some challenges getting around that not everyone pays attention to those around them. You may get jostled or bumped, or people may not see you as readily if you’re in a wheelchair below their normal line of sight. Not all doors are easy to open, and sometimes people will try to scoot through before you or won’t think to hold it open so you can get through. I often wear shorts so people can see I have a prosthesis (and long pants sometimes get hung up around the leg base of my fake leg). Staff in most places is very helpful, but make sure you’re aware of little things like wet floors when you’re maneuvering round (wet floors and crutches don’t mix very well). Also note the space between tables and down rows of tables because it can be too narrow for a wheelchair, so make a note for a friend if you need to.

I’ll admit the weekend excursion was way out of my comfort zone . . . I haven’t stayed overnight anywhere but home since I lost my leg nearly 3 years ago . . . but it turned out very well, both at the hotel and the event itself. Modern facilities are designed to accommodate people facing physical challenges . . . call the hotel to double-check on where to enter and where handicapped parking is located (at this hotel, there was no parking in front, but plenty of parking in back, where two double doors had push automatic openers. The front doors, though plenty wide, did not have the openers).

My friends and family know my limitations and my concerns. If you’re heading somewhere new, don’t be afraid to ask questions before you get there to make sure you can get in and out and enjoy your visit comfortably. If you’re worried about something, tell your companions or the staff. Don’t just tough it out. Likewise, if you need help, ask . . . most people are more than willing to help you out. Finally, if you find there are issues with accessibility (for instance a step up to a dining area that doesn’t have a handrail) mention that to the manager . . . nicely.

A step here and there is no problem for most people, but could be a major barrier for someone in a wheelchair or with other mobility issues.