Here’s why you skinny people need us big people

I’m fat, and you skinny people need me.

I am the yin to your yang, your large human foil.

You need us because we make you feel better about yourselves. While many of us are insecure about our size, that helps us see things that you don’t. You need us because with one or two of us in your clique, we offer a visual and obvious physical difference to your perceived healthiness and physique.

That’s good, because even though your often narcissistic social media postings and activities offer an outwardly strong and confident self-view, we large people know better. We know that you are often insecure as well, and use those bold photos and posts to cover that, like the form-fitting spandex with which you encase your body.

You should be proud of your body. We live in a visual world, where our first look sets the gauges for our future interactions with that person, so your svelteness gives us a good first look. Your frailties and flaws take a bit longer to notice.

Ours are easy to see . . . We look around nervously when we enter a restaurant to see where we can fit, make sure there’s enough space between the table and seating in a booth, or glancing at the chairs to make sure they are sturdy enough to hold us without giving up the ghost, straining glued joints and dowels to the breaking point.

Some of us are actually happy and understand that being overweight is not a disease in and of itself, but a long series of maybe not-so-good choices we made. You, of course, don’t get that, because your egos don’t allow you to see that for many there’s a life-long struggle to harness our inner thinner person . . . We eat too much, often eat the wrong things, don’t exercise enough and hope we can get into our summer clothes when we change wardrobes with the season. Winter’s not so bad because we can throw on layers of large, bulky shirts, sweaters and coats.

There you are in your little too-short-shorts and advanced, high-tech fabric tank top, a touch too willing to take a selfie before you hit the beach, or track, or bike or gym. We often take photos of food.

But there is a sameness to us. While we’re a bit more aware of the world around us and better understand the many struggles people face, we both have emotional ups and downs, ebbs and flows. We may show it more, and you may turn away and not want anyone to see you flinch, though some of you have little understanding of human difficulties, since you feel you have none or have overcome those you did have.

You should be proud of that.

We’re proud, too . . . sometimes even about our weight. We may have lost a ton, but are still big, large, obese or fat, but we feel good giving away bags of too-big clothes, and even better when we find a couple of pairs of jeans in the closet that are a foot bigger at the waist than the ones we now wear. Those are little battles . . . and ones we sometimes fight over and over, which is why we have our “now” clothes, our “thin” clothes and our “fat” clothes.

It’s funny you don’t like watching “Biggest Loser” since here are a bunch of big folks trying hard to be thinner and more fit folks. It would seem there’s no pleasing you. After all, “Survivor,” “The Amazing Race” and others are filled with handsome, fit people. So even when big people work hard to get fit and do what you brag about doing, you get upset because you think fat people are getting praised for doing stuff you do every day. Get over it. They are on a journey. You’re free to go on your own journey so people can criticize you. It’s easy to be critical, harder to take the time and look beyond the obvious.

Of course we’re smart, focused and thoughtful, and that’s why we understand why you need us. We’re the fat girl in the group of skinny girls, the fat guy in the group of skinny guys. We’ll argue that showing skinny models to sell clothes is dumb because most women don’t fall into that size 0 to 2, that selling us 2 airplane seats is great because then we don’t have to hear your bitching or see your frightened glances as you check your seat assignment to make sure you’re not next to us.

That’s OK. We’re used to be fat-shamed on Facebook or some other social media outlet, even though that drives some of us to kill ourselves because it cuts so deeply. We may not always be comfortable with our shells, but many of us become comfortable with who we are. We should be a bit thinner and more fit, of course, and we should eat better and exercise more than we do. You can inspire us at times and can offer us guidance and inspiration, but drop the condescending, sympathetic counselling tone first. Understand the struggle.

So often it's not that your skinny or braggingly fit, but that you take on a condescending when you talk to us. We're not beneath you . . . though we are to some of you. Stop trying to counsel us.

I’d rather applaud some size 16 single mother in her sweats struggle to jog those last few hundred yards than some righteous bitch flashing her fake boobs in a sports bra at the local 5k starting line. That mom is on a journey.